SO did you KNOW that Kourtney's baby dadday PUNCHED A MIRROR?
I didnt' know this. ANd none of you shared this with me.
I could have intervened for them.
I'm a good intervener.
Kourtney would TOTALLY listen to me.
I just FEEL IT.
Chief , meds a flying pig, meeko and diving in. ...
Beginning with meeting up with Chief. A-gain.
She's one tall drink of water and a freaking pecker head to boot.
Nothin you all didn't know already !
Peck.
her .
Head.
" YOU ALL didn't even take a minute to acclimate to each other? You don't even KNOW each other." says Chief's family whilst she was relaying hilarious details of our weekend trip together of yesterdays past.
Numero one:
I DO know this chick. She is what my nightmares are made of because of it. If I have to hear about her acid butt pee one more time- I'm throwing myself in front of a moving mini- van. ( hoping it's going slow and abiding by all rules as mini van moms should.. then I can be dramatic but alive)
Point is: I know her. We're like freaking Shaverne and Lerly. Squenny and Liggy. But bass ackwards of course. WE TALK EVERY SECOND OF THE DAY, bicker incessantly and totally pretty much don't make a move without consulting the other and then totally blowing that advice off after finding at least one wolf pack member that agrees with our side.
If I have to admit. I kind of like her …. we keep each other going. I also look better than her in this pic. A rarity cause the bitch usually looks nice. She also eats eggs ,ketchup and cornflakeS for breakfast and wonders why she has THE BOO BOO HOLE BURN. * duh*
She goes through freaking withdrawals if she doesn't have a shot of my wittiness in her ass daily. She's fucking awesome. So when we meet in person- it's just simply to get er' done. Not a " oohhh im freaked out meeting you in person " freak out session. No way . It's , "HEEEEEY! " Yahhhhhh! AND we move on. All of my wolfies are like that.
So anyways it was cool that I got to spend the weekend with her doing something that she and I have both grown with- Macaroni Kid. If you've thought about this - dude. IT IS SERIOUSLY wonderful. You have to contact me to talk more! And if you sign up- you BEST tell them I sent you or else.
supahmommy@gmail.com
The truth is that most people I meet - feel like they've known me forever. I'm pretty genuine and frankly pretty real.
I scream in my sleep, ask Chief. You can't tell from the pic below but Chief is on the ceiling ,stuck, hangin like a cat on a screen door after I screamed in my sleep one night.
I forget my room key all the time- luckily chief sticks it in her ass crack for safe keeping.
There's tons more I have to tell you bout Chiefy but that is for another post and I can synopsized-isize it well in two words.
LOVE
HER.
Even if she told me I looked like a turtle in another picture.
I told you she was a pecker head.
It's kinda in the fine print of the friendship. Check that shiznot!
Now.. I KNOW HER anal ass well enough to know that she's composing a post in her head that will tell you all how dull and boring I am and that my TTY was too big at the dinner table and that it crowded her elbow space…..and that I drink too much , ate the last FUCKING DELICIOUS shrimp she was eyeing up and wasn't fast enough for…. and that i gambled my life savings away while she prayed for my soul * and secretly hoped I would win 8765 thousand and buy her a stock in diet coke*
So I'm sure she'll bash me.
Tell you secret secret shit about me.
It's part of her need and insecurity to make herself feel better as she just cannot bear the fact that I , supah , cannot be beat or taken down- in any situation* .
Unless.
* disclaimers
I am not on my meds. ( yep. Forgot them in Vegas. Began to cry when I had to write a note to myself during a self building exercise…. So she rolled her eyes and fucking wrote it for me-- I just stuck feathers on my craft while trying not to weep. Then I made fun of her bow on her own craft. Chief and a BIG PINK ASS BOW representing love and beauty…..- you woulda made fun of it too.
I rock as a friend.)
I also…. CAN BE TAKEN DOWN EASILY if you act like a total fucking donkey's ass the minute before I have to leave for a seminar ( husband) making me feel like I"m in the 1950's with your all I AM BETTER THAN YOU AT FINANCES.
THAT just deserves a long distance throat punch and yes it indeed brings my ass down.
Leaving Chief to roll her eyes and pick up the crumbling pieces of an all too emotionally volatile Supah.
Last, it's also possible to bring me down by taking something of value from me.
Say for instance…an award for something Mac Kid related.
An award I loved to death and had plans of putting on my TV stand for daily admiration…..only to realize during takeoff that I left the porker in the rental fucking car.
Sitting on the Tarmac - I begin to UGLY CRY and frantically text Chief that the ADVANTAGE CAR RENTAL PLACE is holding MY FUCKING FLYING PIG hostage and that I'M not sure I WAS taken seriously when I left a message on the lost and found line ABOUT MY FLYING PIG STATUE.
That kinda shit COULD POSSIBLY bring me down.
Otherwise I'm pretty stellar in all capacities.
While in Vegas I also met these chicks- knew them somewhat online previously - had a riot filled lunch with them during our stay. Some of the best parts of the trips. Look at Chiefs arm. Isn't it long? Fucking Go GO Gadget.
And last: This dude.
I was so FA REAKING excited to meet him it was insane.
One of the highlights of the trip. :)
Having the opportunity to meet in person someone you've had many x 's and o's with over the year an not a one bitch fight - is simply indescribable.
Blogging and writing in an online world allow you to remain somewhat aloof if you so choose - but if you're like me and you dive in - making your online counterparts a very real and valid part of your life you'll be rewarded one day.
One day you'll walk across Ceasar's Palace- see Meeko fab walking towards you say , " there he is. that's him."
and your heart skips to see him because THERE HE IS. IN THE SASSY FLESH. And he is all THAT AND A BAG Munchos.
"All That And A Bag of Chips "- urban dictionary definition
Someone that you took the time to dive in with. :)
So Dive in with someone- what else do you have to do ?
Unless you are too busy crying about your Flying Pig Statue that just wasn't meant to be. But there's only ONE person on Earth that that shit happens to .
So you have no excuse.
She's one tall drink of water and a freaking pecker head to boot.
Nothin you all didn't know already !
Peck.
her .
Head.
" YOU ALL didn't even take a minute to acclimate to each other? You don't even KNOW each other." says Chief's family whilst she was relaying hilarious details of our weekend trip together of yesterdays past.
Numero one:
I DO know this chick. She is what my nightmares are made of because of it. If I have to hear about her acid butt pee one more time- I'm throwing myself in front of a moving mini- van. ( hoping it's going slow and abiding by all rules as mini van moms should.. then I can be dramatic but alive)
Point is: I know her. We're like freaking Shaverne and Lerly. Squenny and Liggy. But bass ackwards of course. WE TALK EVERY SECOND OF THE DAY, bicker incessantly and totally pretty much don't make a move without consulting the other and then totally blowing that advice off after finding at least one wolf pack member that agrees with our side.
So anyways it was cool that I got to spend the weekend with her doing something that she and I have both grown with- Macaroni Kid. If you've thought about this - dude. IT IS SERIOUSLY wonderful. You have to contact me to talk more! And if you sign up- you BEST tell them I sent you or else.
supahmommy@gmail.com
The truth is that most people I meet - feel like they've known me forever. I'm pretty genuine and frankly pretty real.
I scream in my sleep, ask Chief. You can't tell from the pic below but Chief is on the ceiling ,stuck, hangin like a cat on a screen door after I screamed in my sleep one night.
I'm normal. WHO DOESN'T scream like a mo fo banshee at 3 am?
I poop in the shitter at 5 star resorts.
It was the artichoke Chief made me eat. Marble doesn't intimidate me.
I forget my room key all the time- luckily chief sticks it in her ass crack for safe keeping.
She's ANAL like that… BWWWW AHAHAH .
I gossip here and there. Ask Chief.
The bitch usually starts it and I just correct her and pray for her soul when she turns her back.
There's tons more I have to tell you bout Chiefy but that is for another post and I can synopsized-isize it well in two words.
LOVE
HER.
Even if she told me I looked like a turtle in another picture.
I told you she was a pecker head.
It's kinda in the fine print of the friendship. Check that shiznot!
Now.. I KNOW HER anal ass well enough to know that she's composing a post in her head that will tell you all how dull and boring I am and that my TTY was too big at the dinner table and that it crowded her elbow space…..and that I drink too much , ate the last FUCKING DELICIOUS shrimp she was eyeing up and wasn't fast enough for…. and that i gambled my life savings away while she prayed for my soul * and secretly hoped I would win 8765 thousand and buy her a stock in diet coke*
So I'm sure she'll bash me.
Tell you secret secret shit about me.
It's part of her need and insecurity to make herself feel better as she just cannot bear the fact that I , supah , cannot be beat or taken down- in any situation* .
Unless.
* disclaimers
I am not on my meds. ( yep. Forgot them in Vegas. Began to cry when I had to write a note to myself during a self building exercise…. So she rolled her eyes and fucking wrote it for me-- I just stuck feathers on my craft while trying not to weep. Then I made fun of her bow on her own craft. Chief and a BIG PINK ASS BOW representing love and beauty…..- you woulda made fun of it too.
I rock as a friend.)
I also…. CAN BE TAKEN DOWN EASILY if you act like a total fucking donkey's ass the minute before I have to leave for a seminar ( husband) making me feel like I"m in the 1950's with your all I AM BETTER THAN YOU AT FINANCES.
THAT just deserves a long distance throat punch and yes it indeed brings my ass down.
Leaving Chief to roll her eyes and pick up the crumbling pieces of an all too emotionally volatile Supah.
Last, it's also possible to bring me down by taking something of value from me.
Say for instance…an award for something Mac Kid related.
An award I loved to death and had plans of putting on my TV stand for daily admiration…..only to realize during takeoff that I left the porker in the rental fucking car.
Sitting on the Tarmac - I begin to UGLY CRY and frantically text Chief that the ADVANTAGE CAR RENTAL PLACE is holding MY FUCKING FLYING PIG hostage and that I'M not sure I WAS taken seriously when I left a message on the lost and found line ABOUT MY FLYING PIG STATUE.
That kinda shit COULD POSSIBLY bring me down.
Otherwise I'm pretty stellar in all capacities.
While in Vegas I also met these chicks- knew them somewhat online previously - had a riot filled lunch with them during our stay. Some of the best parts of the trips. Look at Chiefs arm. Isn't it long? Fucking Go GO Gadget.
That's Bree from Breebee.com and Shayna from Texas Monkey. I fondly prefer to call her Sha na na. They were simply awesome.
And last: This dude.
You all know and love him. I have for a year now! He's participated in most every stupid stunt I've come up with and he's been A TRIP to know!
That is not Chief's Drink.
I was so FA REAKING excited to meet him it was insane.
One of the highlights of the trip. :)
Having the opportunity to meet in person someone you've had many x 's and o's with over the year an not a one bitch fight - is simply indescribable.
Blogging and writing in an online world allow you to remain somewhat aloof if you so choose - but if you're like me and you dive in - making your online counterparts a very real and valid part of your life you'll be rewarded one day.
One day you'll walk across Ceasar's Palace- see Meeko fab walking towards you say , " there he is. that's him."
and your heart skips to see him because THERE HE IS. IN THE SASSY FLESH. And he is all THAT AND A BAG Munchos.
"All That And A Bag of Chips "- urban dictionary definition
A 90s saying that was popular... back in the day. Its means somethings cool.
Enrique: Yo' mann, look at my new ride!
90s kid: Hey, that's all that and a bag of chips!
90s kid: Hey, that's all that and a bag of chips!
Someone that you took the time to dive in with. :)
So Dive in with someone- what else do you have to do ?
Unless you are too busy crying about your Flying Pig Statue that just wasn't meant to be. But there's only ONE person on Earth that that shit happens to .
So you have no excuse.
Sitting In An Airport
Here I sit in an airport ...
that I got to in plenty enough time ...
to make my 5:30 AM flight...
to Vegas to meet up with Chief and Meeko Fabby
Here I sit.
Because the truth is folks...
I got here at 3 AM
( because I am prompt .... and attentive to security requirements of the FAA... and also because I decided to forgo sleep this evening and felt that if I stayed at home any longer- I might actually fall asleep upright)
So I drove to the airport.
Well within the 2.5 hours before your flight window -
and was eeeeeeeeeeever so pleased to see that the Us Airways check in counter
does not open until 4:15 A. M.
That's what that red says in the blurry ass pic.
WTF USAIRWAYS??
Oh... I see. 4:15 am.
currently 43 minutes from now
WHYYOUDIRTYROTTENMOTHERFLUCKERS.
THE ONE TIME I decide to PACK A BIG ASS BAG AND CHECK IT IN.
( so my shoes could fit )
I get here at 3 am... to find that it doesn't open until 4 FUCKING FIFTEEN AM.
SIGH
So I decided to sit down in a comfy grey pleather chair
far
far
far far far faaaaaaaar
away from the two over achievers camped out in the US Airways line
(most talkative over achievers if my grumpy self must say)
Who talks this early in the morning?
Certainly not I.
I did smile at the janitor.
But I think it was because I felt bad that instead of cuddling up with his wife or his dog or his favorite body pillow between his knees... he has to clean the shitters.
and that was BEFORE I saw all the sketchy characters they allow in the airport waiting room - pre-dawn.
Sketchy my ass.. more like.. broke down homeless people looking for a crack fix. What the fuck!! * clutching my mac tight*
TAKE THE SHOES! I HAVE LOTS OF THEM! LEAVE THE IPAD AND MACBOOK!
Anyways - I sat down to have a convo with you in between fearing for my life and composing a letter to the Pittsburgh Airport Authority about this whole shenanigan US AIrways has been pullin~
I sat down to talk to you..
* looks you in the eye*
Bad music playing* * boyz 2 men.. end of the road*
I feel bad.
I feel as if I've broken up with you all
but pulled the mother fucker of the year trick and
texted you a break up.
Internets. It's me... it's not U.
Hasta xooxox Supah
It is me.
It's not you.
I was all gung ho making that new site and then I got busy - and a month went by and I neglected you all.
I haven't been writing on the side.
Don't worry.
I'm no two timah.
I'm just gettin mah groove back.
And they just turned the lights on at the airport.
It was like a tiny miracle.
A sign.
A symbol of supah starting up again.
Turning on the lights!
I have no idea where the fritata im going to write ... but just catch me where you can..
if i don't die first at the hand of some crack fiend in the Pittsburgh INTERNational Airport!
VEGAS HERE COMES SUPAH!
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