Vacation all I evah wanted..

I'm off on another star studded vacation with the crew.
Pray that we come back intact. No jaws encounters. No stingray bites. No sand in the eyes. No sunburn. ( UVSKINZ SAYS no way)

I'll be back.

Next Sunday. :)

Til then.. I'll be the one yelling at my kids on the beach.. somewhere in MD.

xxoxoox
d

p.s . If you are new to my little bloggy... check out my favorite posts. :)

FIERCE! red carpet ready

Today, P is wearing the infamous DOROTHY Wiggles dress .div>


=The one I made 4 years ago for my friends themed birthday party. I MADE A DRESS netties. MADE. IT.


She threw an ALMOST volcanic tantrum when I told her NO she couldn't' wear it today to Costco.


She won.



She scurrs me dudes. Scurrs. Me.



Especially when baby booger is sleeping. Peacefully. Peacefull in the next room.



She can have just about any friggin thing she wants.

What Pey? You want to drive the car today?
Hop in.


Of course this is Much to child #1's dismay. WTF?? IS E's new mantra.

So anyways. Here' s the dress. P's prize for the day. (She worked hard on that almost tantrum.)













Don't look at the background stuff.
I SAID DON'T.
You fuckers.


Listen . I keep it real. That's my office. My lair. Where I spills it to you all. I can't be expected to tidy it up for you... I've got things to write!

So the dress.

It was a friggin nightmare to do in short.

I've not sewn since. But it was worth it. It turned out darling and actually netted us a live shot on the Wiggles cam at the concert two years ago.

YEP that was ME pushing my face into the camera.. elbowing her in the process! Did you see us?





Greg wanted me. I gave him a bone. I mean Wags. I gave WAGS A DOG bone.




So this dress.




RED CARPET WORTHY I tell you. RED. CARPET. WORTHY.




"Who are you wearing .. who are you wearing??? " scream the paparazzi to 3 year old P.



" My mom made it. " says P as she poses, one stubby chub leg thrusted forth, hands on hips, ( thanks Tori for the tips) blue crocs on feet.







* flash snap snap flash.. snap snap.. flash.. click click.. click."







Let's hope she didn't pull a Tara Reid."





It is my 4th greatest accomplishment: beyond the scope of my 3 children. I wrestled for days with tissue paper thin things called PATTERNS.




WTF is this about?????? thought I.. in the midst of said PATTERNS. It looked like confetti by the time I was done. HAPPYY NEW YEAR EVERYONE!!







Why can't you just BUY the pieces all cut and stuff... and just like.. link them together or something? I asked my sewing self.

It was mind numbing.





But I prevailed. Using the proper elements to do such creating as well. Things like... Like yarn and stuff. No wait.. string... thread.. and buttons too. Not one drop of hot glue was used. Not. A. One.







So anyways .. this dress. Is perhaps too small on her.. or perhaps it's just not made right? NoOOOOO. Can't be that. TOO SMALL.







It deceivingly looks the right size.. but the neck. when buttoned.. is so small .. it chokes her, makes her gag and makes creases in her neck when she sits down.







WHAT -EVvvvvvAH. I made it.







" COUGH.. COUGH.. GAG... " says Pey.



"Do you want to take it off? " says Supah.



" NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO" says ATOMIC Pey.



" aLRIGHT ALRIGHT" says supah as she BACKS AWAY FROM THE BOMB.







"How my look?" asks Pey, posing.







"FIERCE.. " says Supahmommy.







" *cOUGHS.. gags.. smiles.* "







"Let'S ROCK N ROLL.!"off to Costco we go.







We'll just unbutton it. It's totally in for the Summer Season.











Slave to fashion at 3. That's mah girl.

Saline, Shop N save and mufflers

Kill me now. Pey is sick. Seems DBD passed along to her his latest death bed illness. ( cold) Netties, I barely made it through this one without using my pillow for a weapon of DBD destruction. Now P has it. And is by far WORSE. She is whiny by nature, has been since shooting out of my womb. When you combine said whininess with inability to breathe through her nose. It get's ugly round here.

I made an 11:25 pm trip attempt to our local grocery store. Shop n Save. Seems Shop N Save is not open that late, however Advanced Auto Parts just might have been. Had P needed a simple muffler change to fix 'er up... it would've been all good. Alas jamming a muffler up her nose: wasn't the solution. Although I'll keep it in mind for DBD's next death bed episode. I careened into our even FARTHER AWAY local grocer and rushed in to find some saline and anything else that might help out. Tequila.


I have on black Old Navy flip flops.
A turquoise tank top with a purple medicine stain ON THE BOOBAGE.
A white bra that is hanging out.
Grey gym shorts that might have been worn in 5th period gym, 1992.
Hair.. twisted .. up in a scary way.

I got a HELLO from some dude. No joke. A joey. How U doin kinda hello.

Some chubbychasing mommy lover. Fo shizzle.

I think he may have been concerned by the bobby pin violently sticking out of my hair or turned on by the medicine stained boob.

Either way chubbychasingmommylover...

You rock. Thanks!

I also almost fell on my way out as well. Seems rain water and cheap old navy flip flops: do not mix.

Note that peeps. Cuz I know you ALL have at least ONE PAIR.

Pray for me that P sleeps.
Pray that I sleep.
Pray that chubbychasingmommylover DIDN'T follow me.

Cause at this point in the sickness game: I might invite him in for some tequila tea.

GO Green: Handmade Wipes Etsy Giveaway- closed winner LIsha

GO GREEN WIPES WINNER:

LISHA

NUMBER 41 OUT OF 301 TOTAL ENTRIES!

Congrats Lish!

I'll send them your way!

d

If you are just stopping in be sure to visit my two giveaways that expire soon! Four book Hachette Book Package and a UV protectant Swim Shirt from UVSKINZ. Just drop a comment!





SO the world is all about erasing your HUGE carbon footprint these days right? I'm on board! I have a fantastic product for you with a side order of total useability! I ran across this fantastic Etsy Mom DSMomof3boys who handmakes re-usable baby wipes and other mentionables! She graciously sent me a packet of 4 re-usable baby wipes that double as washclothes. THEY ARE so cute and colorful, I can't stand it.

I'm a suckah for a cute pattern but I'm also totally sold on their quality - STELLAR and most of all, their SOFTNESS factor. My little Booger Bears butt has never touched such feathery loveliness! I've used them for wipes , because her little toosh is sensitive to the alcohol in even the most sensitive of disposable wipes. I've also used them for wash clothes and I am SWEARING TO YOU...they are hands down the most gentle product that's touched her cute little cheeks. Up NOrth and down SOuth.:

Her mission is to :


In my desire to reduce the amount of items my family sends to the landfill I decided to make cloth mama pads and wipes! Every little bit we do helps save unnecessary items from going in the landfill. Being green is good!


What I also learned from her site is that she offers not only these FABU wipees... but something she refers to as MamaPAds as well.




Similar to babies who are allergic to the chemical makeup of disposable diapers, she found herself allergic to disposable pads. GAH! Can you imagine!

I've never thought about such a thing: but after research... guess what.. it's very prevalent and makes sense with such things as latex allergies etc.

Her care package to me was charmingly wrapped and made my day upon arrival. I plan to order a few more sets of the wipes, cuz they are just that SUPAH!
Thanks Debbie: from another D. :)
p.s. I think next she should make some fancy schmancy nursing pads! How bout it DSM??

Now YOU have a chance to win some of her products!!! Check it all out!

DSMomof3boys

One winnah will recieve one set of 4 adorable Wash clothes with Monkey print and one set of Mama Pads to check out! Anyone looking to order a set now: GETS FREE SHIPPING! Be sure to tell her SUPAHMOMMY sent me. :) She plans to have some more selection up soon!







Here's what to do: Check out the DSMOMOF3BOYS ETSY shop and tell me your favorite feature of her products! (Step one- mandatory!)


For extra entries:

Become a follower of my blog, or tell me if you already are. 20

Grab my button and place it on your blog. 20



Become a fan on facebook or tell me if you already are. 20

Follow me on TWITTER. 20

Tweet or blog about this giveaway, and leave me the link.
20 per!


Email some friends about my blog & the giveaway. Link us up and cc me supahmommy@comcast.net 10 per person you send it to.




Tally it all up . 10 extra!


Be sure to leave a way for me to contact you: especially if you DON'T have a blog. :)



ONe winner will be chosen .
Contest ends July 30th 2009
72 hours to claim your prize after I notify you

Fowl Mouth: Quack... The art of being me.

FOursons asked me to link up my "kinda old" but goody letter for Letters of Intent Friday .:)



FO SHO I SAID. :)

ENJOY

For real. Some Etsy chic called me "fowl' mouth today. F-O-W-L mouth. That just QUACKS me up.

I'd totally love to make fun of her for her inability to utilize the English language but I myself can't even use a freaking hyphen or ellipse properly. Who am I to make Quacks about her?

My OWN biggest fear is my friend D of MommyBrain. I fear she'll grade my blogs. She is by far the most eloquent and linguistically proper writer that I've ever known and I often have nightmares of her wielding a red pen! She's often wearing a witch hat too. But . .I'm not sure where that part comes from.

Just kidding D!!


Ok . Enough.

What burns me most is that she , (CHICKEN lady.. not D...)is totally getting under my skin. My pale, pasty, thin , wear my heart on my sleeve , transparent skin. You can call me Bella, circa book 4.

What flutters my fanny is that I find myself doubting my own moral compass now. Skewed as I know it is. Am I a bad person because I can drop an F bomb with the best of them... does it make me somehow...I don't know?? Dirty??? Am I your DIRTY LITTLE SECRET?? Gasp??....

Dear Mother Goose,

While I respectfully understand your right to pick and choose your Etsy Shop sponsors I will take the opportunity to GET YOU OUT FROM UNDER MY SKIN by bloggin this stupid letter to you.

Listen Ducky. This is my blog. MY BLOG. It is my secret secret diary locked up with a heart key. Did you ever have one of those? Where you may or may not have written about your infatuation with Dave Barr, the cutest skater kid in 7th grade? Writing daily that you wished you could be his Betty? Chronicling your attempts to learn how to skateboard late at night on your Kmart Nash Skateboard so as to someday coast alongside him somewhere in Swissvale Pa. Professing your love to each other over the spinning of the rubber wheels on the loose gravel? No?.. You haven't . Ever? Interesting.

Anyways chicken. It is here that I am able to let my hair down, grab a shot glass and suck town a tequila or seven while telling the stories of my life. My mommy life. Because guess what? I can't do it in real life. I'm stuck playing Mother Goose to my three beautiful little girls.

So, if I so choose to use a word that I might not say in Sunday school, here on this blog, then it's my perogative. Bobby Brown don't fail me now! It does not mean that I don't pray, see Jesus in certain situations or have a need for diaper covers for my daughter.

While you release your own stresses making those darling little diaper covers, that I did so admire and want to use as a giveaway, I use this blog to do the same. It is my venting post and I kindly ask you to refrain from judgement even if I may or may not be ' your taste.' What I DO know is that mommies of all tastes and moral skews buy mommy products and read mommy blogs in search of ANYONE or ANY PRODUCT who makes them feel just a bit more sane.


It is here that I'm safe. That I am raw. That I am most of all : honest. And THAT'S what my readers love. They see past the UGLY in me. Don't YOU have any uglies?


I would have loved to promote your items as I do so enjoy boosting the businesses of fellow mommies. However ...it isn't' in the cards and I respect that. I'm off to have a few shots of tequila because my 3 year old is sick and cannot sleep. That means that I won't either and boy WOULD I like to swear about that. Mommying is hard and lonely. This blog reaches others who feel the same at times.

It's a damn good blog. :)

Best to you Turkey AND love to all my readers.
d

Howdy Neighbor

If you are just stopping in be sure to visit my three giveaways that expire soon! Four book Hachette Book Package , Go Green Etsy Handmade Wipes and a UV protectant Swim Shirt from UVSKINZ. Just drop a comment!


So our new neighbors have literally JUST pulled up the moving van and are on their way to joining this jolly neighborhood.

In turn: I am hiding out from them.... you know.. in case they want eggs or something. A screwdriver or nuts or bolts.

Listen up new neighbahs:

You WOn't find ANY of that stuff here. SO move along. And if for some reason you DO.. it's somewhere it's NOT SUPPOSED to be be.. like my husband's underwear drawer or the dog crate. And YOU my friend shouldn't be snooping around my husbands skivvielou drawer- ANYWAYS. Also it's none of your beeswax WHY I have eggs in my dog crate.

Signed your new neighbor, whom you MET yesterday.



IF they insist upon borrowing EGGS and or nuts n bolts. Begin ringing my doorbell to no avail and then subsequently decide to peer into my office window when no one answers their dings besides a small barking dog and two small munchkins.. I shall hold my breath and not move. I am stone. I cannot break.

Maybe they'll mistake my office for a wax museum. Perhaps I'll hold a quizzical look on my mug to really make it convincing. The other inhabitants around here though.. not so sure they can pull off the wax museum look.. should the situation arise. Might need to re-think strategy.

I take that back... Ro-Ro the fat beagle won't be a problem: she just fa lumps her chicken legs all day in the same spot. Half the time I stare at her for several intense seconds to see.. if she's BREATHING. She'll pass the wax museum test.

Still thinking. Discuss while I ponder my hypothetical.

So anyways.
I'm hiding out.
From my new neighbors.
We've MET already as I mentioned.

An introduction ONLY SupahMommy could pull off.

Let's backtrack here.

The house next door has been uninhabited for almost a year plus now. I've gotten comfy with the fact that NOT a soul can keep tabs on what I'm doing back there, as in my backyard.

Unless you count the neighbors on the OTHER SIDE of me.. but we've already broken them in.. so they don't count. I

often parade around in my wife beater yellling at my little spawns to 'STAY IN THE DRIVEWAY', ' LEAVE THE DOG ALONE" " For PETE'S SAKE would you PUHLEASE pick up your scooterbikeballbatskatesinchwormgolfclubsbadmintonraquets." or 'DO NO squirt me with that!"

With no audience.

So we bought this white trash pool the other day. Intex, Easy Set pool. SAve your blood pressure and Don't buy one. ANd especially dont' buy one from Toys R Us. You can't return it.

EVEN IF IT Freaking LEAKS the second you put air into it.
I digress.

So we spent all night hassling with this mo fo.. on ly to find out that the top ring deflates over a series of hours. Not cool Intex, NOT COOL.

So anyways. I misread , as I misread all that exists, the claim instructions and proceed to flail about my little mindless world thinking that they are going to be sending me a new pool just by speaking to someone on the phone and JUST by filling out a claim.

Wow! says Supah.
GREENBEANS say the Gods.

So BEFORE I eventually find out that I must CUT THE POOL UP and send certain portions back to the manufacturer... like some serial pool killer. I put millions of gallons of water into it and plan to let the girls have their way with it.

Yes.. the air- leaking one.

I. am. stupid.

I have a plan though.
I plan to use my blow skillz and my hot air .. .to stand on the side of the effer and just BLOW while the kids play their day away in our new white trash, now leaking pool. I'VE GOT NOTHING ELSE TO DO RIGHT?




In the meantime before play time, I ... continue to run out there.. .every 2 hours or so.. and BLOW so as not to LOSE one single droplet of the millions of gallons of water.

But alas, yesterday morning.. when I went out at 9 AM to take up my post and BLOW... a few things I neglected.

1. I neglected to DRESS MYSELF. Not unusual.

I was flitting about like some ninny in a PINK , see through-ish...tank like, ruffled, to the knee, gramma type of nightgown.. that is TOO big.. and falls off.

2. I was wearing a bright blue bra and bold pink magenta striped MATERNITY UNDERWEAR.


3. I was barefoot.

4. I went to bed with my hair wet.
Just imagine. I have wavy rebellious hair.


5. Peyton, following her mommy as a good girl should, came out to join me in her UNDERWEAR.

6. I neglected to remember ONE TINY LITTLE DETAIL about that specific Thursday morning. There was SOMETHING I was supposed to remember. What was it??

I began looking for the source of the leak, EAR TO THE GROUND.. circling the pool. I stop.
STRADDLED , BENT OVER, butt IN THE AIR, HEAD DOWN ...causing my nightgown to RIDE UP AND BARE MY butt AND IT'S HIDEOUS maternity sails.

aannnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnd.....

In pull our new freaking neighbors.

Oh yeah. THURSDAY was the day the new fools were slated to move in. Sometime in the A.M. Good job keeping tabs on that Supah.


WELCOME TO THE NEIGHBAH-HOOD.

I'll send my casserole when I'm done blowing.
:)



Evah embarrassed yourself royally?

Greenbeans

If you are just stopping in be sure to visit my two giveaways that expire soon! Four book Hachette Book Package and a UV protectant Swim Shirt from UVSKINZ. Just drop a comment!


I was reading a blog post and this little heffer was posted.

"If you say the word GULLIBLE reeeeeeallly slow... it sounds like GREENBEANS."











Yah. Me too.

or

Yah. Me neither.

Which one was you?


I would fall into the S.OB. ing
Yah. Me . Too.
category.

MO. FO.

No surprise though.

The other day my inbox of 292 unread emails hosted a little notation that : I WAS BEING SENT a new DELL laptop!

Shut. Up. says Supah.

nahhh... says Supah.

Ok. says Supah.

Opens it up.

Fill out 409 surveys please.

Say WHAT!!??
Awwwww....Sugar Honey Iced Tea . says Supah.
It's not real... says Supah.

Pauses.


But.. what if it IS? says Supah (as she glarestares at her EVILDOER compaq laptop with the mo fo possessed keyboard)

"You JUST got your eviction notice! I'm replacing yo ass." she hisses to CMPQ model number 675stupid.

Ok. says Supah.

Fills out survey #1, 2 ,33333333333333333333-98.

All the Gods in Gullible Heaven look down upon her and say..

SHUT. UP.
Nahhhh...
OK. She IS that stupid.


15 minutes go by- click this, click that, no thank you, no thank you, can I skim this part, No Ido not need adult educatin, no my penis does not need enlarged.. Awww come'on.... WTF???


Get to last part of onlystupidpeoplefillitoutthisfar survey.

You must buy two of the 56 posted things here to get your DELL.

SHUT THE EFF UP. Says Supah.

Nahhhh..

BUT .. Considers the options presented.

"NO WAY!" shout the Gods. She is NOT thinking of doing it.
THROWS a lightening bolt her way.

As she ponders between, Disney Movie Club, Home and Garden Book CLub... she SUDDENLY... remembers the great "book club, tape club, cd club sign ups " of youths yesteryears. And sinks lower into her seat.

Aw crap. I wonder if I'm still on Columbia House's 1992 Most Wanted List?
Fo sho.

I shoud rectify this situation.

Maybe I can send back that unopened Milli Vanili tape sitting in my highschool box.
sigh.

No DELL for me.
Must make amends with CMPQ model number 675stupid.

Listen Laptop ( STUPID F#CKER) "I'm really sorry I said those things. I was just mad. I didnt' mean it. Please don't go all Casper on me next time I use you. "


Closes up email.





I AM that stupid. I got greenbeaned.

Next I'll be wiring my hard earned bacon to help Wumi Abdul whose father was a wealthy cocoa merchant in Abidjan,the economic capital of Ivory Coast before he was poisoned to death by his business associates on one of their outing to discus on a business deal.


Damn you Greenbeans! Damn You!





What have you fallen for?

Butchered

SO I asked my DBD ( death bed dan) to 'read' my last post outloud to me. For editing purposes I wanted to HEAR how it sounded.

1. I'm an idiot for asking HIM.

2. He got his skivvies totally in a ball LAST time when I revealed to him his 'code name.'

3. He can't read for jack. I'll give him 1/2 credit by saying he didn't have his glasses on. A de ja vus of sorts for me.

The night we met we stayed up late into the night and somehow ended up reading an article in a magazine to each other. While I'd love to tell you it was an article from NewsWeek or the NewYorker. Twas not. Astrological something or nother from Cosmo. He didnt' have his glasses on and in turn: I feared for the man sitting in front of me of whom I beleived, operated on a 1st grade reading level.. if that. mY VISIONS of children together...were visions of a shallow gene pool with kids who had to wear floaties. All their life.

* disclaimertoavoidfuturetroubleincasehereadsthis
I love him. Terribly somedays. But I am by far a better reader than he. He is talented in many ways and totally whoops my ass at all things logical, scientifical and mathematical. I am math retarded and logically deficient. Put a logic book in front of me and I'll cry. NO need to threaten to bullybeat me up. Save your fists, use a logic book.


4. He doesn't get ME. My intonation. My little quips. My ghetto speaks. My whooole.. way of typing what's in my head. So he read it.. the parts he got out RIGHT.. like some wrinkly old robot. All stiff and old person style. GAH! It was as if he were electrocuting me with every word that he got out. bzzz ... bzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz... bzzzzzzzzzzzzz

5. Five sentences in.. I was lying on the floor writhing in pain when I screamed, "STOP JUST STOP! I'll tell you where my gold is hidden.. please for the love of all that is created by Jesus.. STOP."

6. Again, skivvies began to pucker for him. AWK moments ensued.
I dismissed him kindly after reading it OUT LOUD to HIM. ( controoool freaaaaaak) and tried to regain my composure. Needless to say, it was not a good scene.


He did say I was very creative... which is very kind and I'm certain very sincere. But it was like being told "You look nice today." , AFTER someone says to you.. "Geese. what. have . you . been. eating. lately. OINK OINK?" Or.. "Now THAT'S an interesting way to wear capris. "


So I'm wondering. Are any of you as GIFTED AND TALENTED as moi? In so much as having the ability to read another's blog with the proper intonation, PAUSES, quips ET- CET-ERA?




p.S. My mom also read my blog once or twice out loud in Colorado. I went running for the hills as well..not for content.. but for the massacre that was occuring.

Perhaps I should blog AUDIO STYLE?

You diggety?

supah sinning

Oh Sweet Baby Jane! I have discovered a summah treat that's better than the ding a lings of the ice cream man on a hot summmer day!


screeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeech.... *crickets chirping*

Um.. I mean... um...

AWWWW COME ON NOW!!

Not only is that HILARIOUS.. it's downright SAUCY!

Just like those books I have up for grabs for you a post behind this one. Get over there and comment to win!

So anyways my nets... my new summah treat!

VACATION BIBLE SCHOOL!

skippety loo-ya peeps .. skip-pet-y loo-ya

It is a
GOOD day at 338.

6pm rolled around and we drop kicked our Emma-nem through the doors with a hug and a "GO FIND JESUS baby girl" parting.

6 :02 pm rolled around and saw our SILVER van ROLL right out da parking lot on it's way to some supah sinning in honor of our baby girls first night of Vacation Bible School.

6:05pm I swore.

6:15pm I drank a margarita and licked the salt right off the rim in front of all patrons near to us. I hath no shame.

6:40pm I ate a salad under the guise of 'healthy'.. though it was laden with *whispers* devil dressing. DEVIL DRESSING I tell you! 78 million calories.

6:50 pm We laugh as baby girl number two eats three bites of spaghetti and says "I'm done."

We don't even flinch. WE JUST KEEP DRINKING AND SWEARING.

7:00 pm We charge the meal to our Amex ...a SIN IN AND OF IT'S SELF TO HAVE ONE OF THESE PUPPIES.

7:20pm. We roll the van to LOWE'S to covet some new front doors, bathroom vanities and front porch rockers all WITH ONLY 2 CHITLINS in tow. IT's was HEAVENLY.

8:00pm I moon my neighbors. Just cause I can.

( jUST KIDDING...)

8:05pm Childrens 2 and 3 are put to bed but we are CERTAIN to say our prayers first. :)

8:30 PM.. RATED R.

( lies all lies..!!!) I told DBD I'm waiting for my " dr's note" first. Told him it will come in the mail. SNORT!!

9:00 Pm Baby girl 1 returns from her first day of Vacation Bible School all smiles .. with a little bracelet that says " Watch for God."

"Did you find Jesus.. I mean God?" says Supahmommy?

"Huh?" says baby girl.

"YOur bracelet says 'Watch for God Em..'" says Supah.

"Oh.. " Says baby girl.

"Oh well! Looks like you'll have to go tomorrow and TRY AGAIN to find him." shrugs a sinnin supah.

Oh I loves it.

Vacation Bible School- where have you been all my 5 years of mommy life?

* Okay all you offended churchies. I was just kidding about most of it. :) Em had a fantastic time at our awesome church that we really should attend more... They put on this PHENOMENAL program called Crocodile Dock and hosted something like 300 kids. Emma is really excited to go back tomorrow .. and the next day.. and the next day.. and the next day. Yahh me! I'm certain she'll "find" Jesus by Friday. If not I'll just have to enroll her in some other VBS's. :) lol

I'M JUST KIDDING.

Summah lovin- Hachette Book Givewaway

And the winner is:

Staci

Number 80 random.org integer generator!



OKEY DOKEY Hachette FOLKSies ( and supahmommy netties.). a Summah Lovin Giveaway all for YOU!

( don't forget to check out the UVSKINZ swimwear giveaway as well! Especially if you have kids, grandkids, friends kids, nieces, nephews.. etc... don't miss it! Ends July 17th. Just need to drop a comment. )

Bowmp chicka bow wow!!

Ok... wait.. that sounds a bit like sexy song talk .. IN DOG.

I'm always bass ackwards.. I swear.


Oh... yep.. there's confirmation. Ro-Ro ( fat beagle) just looked at me longingly.

Take that shit elsehweres Ro.. ELSEWHERES.

So. For you Romance Readery type of Buffs. I've got 2 Summah Lovin Giveaways to offer. Today will be the first. In a few weeks... DUH.. the second will be posted. ( July 27th)


COurtesty of Hachette Book Group a set of the following ROMANCE NOVELS are up for grabs for one lucky winner. ( I only have one set.. GET OFF MY BACK. As I told RO.. take it ELSE-WHERES) :)







Listen to these sinfully sassy titles!


Passion Unleashed ( A Demonica Novel) I'm skuurred already.

One Scream Away by Kate Brady ( Advanced Copy) BOO-YAH! That's like seeing a movie at CAnnes.

I think.

To Beguile a Beast by Elizabeth Hoyt What's Beguile??? Must look that up.

****BLUSHing!!! wHISPER VOICE.. it means "to seduce into a desired state!" JINKEYS says Sandra Dee.

It's okay.. you can still read it. Just say 3 Hail Mary's first

Bound To Please by Lilli Feisty
ROOOOWwwwwllllll....

.

To enter simply leave a comment and an answer to the question below on this post. ( make sure you have a way to contact you.. via blog link or email) for one entry. If you so choose... complete options 2, 3, 4 and or 5 for additional chances to win.

YOu must...

Tell me what YOU do to keep your summah lovin romance alive.

(let's keep it rated G.. ish. ish.. okay.. fine...PG- 13)

Me. ? I do nothing. We are like my once beautiful petunia basket. Withered and obviously dried up.. sitting on my porch ( still) FOR ALL TO ENJOY and make fun of AS THEY PASS BY.

So needless to say I'll be taking notes. On scraps of old post it's and torn envelope tops. Cause I'm organized like that.

ENjoy.

Contest ends July 27th. Just in time for my birthday on the 28th. Don't forget to buy me a present. ANd if you even get me a set of 4 romance novels by Hachette Book Group. You're gettin a knuckle samwich.

Additional Entry Choices.

( I check all of these to be sure like some nasty school marm!)

2. Grab my button and put it on your blog. 20 entries

3. Blog about my giveaway/blog on your blog and link me up. 30 entries

4. Email your friends about my blog/giveaway and cc me supahmommy@comcast.net 10 entries per person you send it to.

5. Tally up for me ALL the things you did to enter.. 10 extra entries.

UV SKinz giveaway... check me out! * updated

click me

FREEBY days are BAAAAAAAACK.. and so am I!


To win this weeks product ... read my review and then at the bottom of this post the entry rules are posted. You must complete #1 to be entered. It requires you to visit the UVSKINZ site and then COME BACK TO MY BLOG and comment your favorite UVSKINZ piece.

* UPDATE.. all UVSKINZ adult products are 40% off now!

I have product that I love. YOu know how I loves me a good product. You also know how I loves me a good product with a great story behind it as well.


You also also know how I love products that bring me one step closer to famous people in a non stalking method.

Famous people as in: One tasty little love nugget named MR. Matthew McConaughey

How so you ask?
His Little Levi: is wearing one of the products you are going to get a chance to win.
BAM. I'm famous now too.
Let's talk.
First.

Meet UV Skinz.

Chemical Free Sun PRotection.
UV protectant , CHEMICAL FREE clothing/swim products for us sunny peoples.


I said, I said, I said... CHEMICAL FREE.
I know you all love your chemicals but we all know they plain aren't good. Especially on our precious kidlets .
Here's the gist.


"UV Skinz stylish, high quality sun protective swim wear carries a UPF rating of 50+, blocking out over 98% of the sun’s harmful UV rays and protecting delicate skin from damaging sunburns...





UV Skinz UPF protective sun shirts, sun shorts and sun hats are not made with any chemicals or lotions. The UV protection is in the tight weave of the fabric. Wearing UV protective clothing like our fun, cool UV Skinz sun protective swim shirts, is an important step in preventing sunburns, premature aging of the skin and skin cancer...





UV Skinz keeps babies and kids covered from top to bottom in reversible UV buckets hats, long and short sleeved UV swim shirts, UV boardshorts and UV boy-cut shorts, all UPF rated by the Australian Radiation Lab, a leading authority on sun protective clothing. UV Skinz bright and colorful separates are designed to be mixed and matched with the added benefit of helping you to be able to easily spot your loved ones during water play time or in crowded public places. .."




ABOUT:

"The company was established after Rhonda Sparks, the Founder and President, lost her husband to skin cancer when he was just 32 years old in 2001. This sparked Rhonda's passion to raise awareness and educate others about sun protection, but never losing sight of how valuable it is to PLAY and HAVE FUN outdoors! "



TOLD YOU SO. GREAT STORY. GREAT IDEA. GREAT PRODUCT. GET OUT YOUR WALLETS AND GET YOUR CLICKER FINGER READY TO ORDER.

Supahmommy's Review:


Listen Peeps.. this isn't your average Rash Guard cute Roxy type of sun shirt. I've got 3 of those sitting in my daughters swim drawer. They look cute and thaaaaaaaaat's about it.

They don't offer the UV protection that this product does. Wet OR dry. Nor does the old standby "white t-shirt"... a method I have used in the past to protect my little nuggets fair skin.

I'VE spend COUNTLESS amounts of money on a certain spray sunscreen each summer... during our annual beach visits. At 9 bucks a pop people. NINE BUCKS.


Nine times 7 cans a summer at least??!!


My wallet just cringed.
I could have been putting my MONEY INTO these inexpensive and so deliciously stylish swim-wears. Erased part of my HUGE CARBON FOOTPRINT, protected my children in a non consumable way and supported a great cause. DUH!

So now my mission is to save you some dollars and spread the word for Rhonda Sparks, creator...about this phenom idear.

She graciously sent me a pink Tie-Die " Mollie" shirt to try out this past winter.



Yes I did say winter. GUESS WHAT? They double as sun protectors and warmth protectants underneath winter outdoor clothing. CA-CHING! Two fer one peoples.. a bargain in our economy..

The lowdown.

• It's bright and colorful
  It's made of a thick fabric that isn't stifling in the heat.
• It is very well constructed.
• It has a higher neck collar than a rash guard shirt.
• It has longer protective sleeves than a useless rash guard shirt.
• Peyton Loves it.
• Emma is Jealous.
• IT TOTALLY WORKS.

We've worn it twice thus far but I plan to wear this puppy out this summer with several upcoming beach trips. We wore it once in January to an indoor water park in the middle of winter on the frozen tundra of Erie PA.

KEPT PEYTON TOTALLY SNUGLY and happy. A GOOD THING for us as she has a tendency to BURN MY EARS OFF WITH HER INCESSANT WHINING.

We wore it outdoors 3 days ago at Denver Water World in 90 degree heat at the MILE HIGH ALTITUDE of 5,280 feet... closer to God.. closer to the Sun's evil rays.

Pey was protected, cool and I didn't have to slather her up like an oily little piggy 34 times that day. I simply sprayed the areas that were not covered and wished to God I had ordered UV boy cut swim shorts along with a play skirt. It was THAT HOT.
But the little booger didn't burn. Thank you UV SKINZ and thank you Rhonda.

Forget the greased pig pokey you'll play with countless sunscreen applications.

Forget the cutesy rash guards.

Don't put more chemicals on your kidlets than absolutely necessary.

GET A UV SKINZ product. Or better yet. Win won. Here.

ONe winner will receive one in stock short sleeve UV Skinz shirt. Courtesy of UV Skinz and me. :)


To Be entered. All you have to complete is number 1.

YOU MUST VISIT THE UVSKINZ SITE AND THEN LEAVE A COMMENT ON MY BLOG !

1. Visit the site




and tell me what product you love most. Leave a comment with a way to contact you. WORTH ONE INITIAL ENTRY

WANT MORE ENTRIES???? In addition to completing number 1. ... ( visiting the uvskinz site, and then commenting on blog your favorite piece)

2. Sign up for the UV Skinz monthly email letter. 20 entries.

3. Blog about the product/giveaway for 30 entries.

4. email to friends about the product/ giveaway. Be sure to link up Supahmommy and UV SKINZ. 10 entries per person you send it to. CC me @ supahmommy@comcast.net

5. Tally it all up for me on your own. 10 additional entries.

Contest ends July 25th and one winner will be chosen using Random. org.Winner will be notified via email or blog.WInner has 3 days to confirm winnings and provide me with a U.S. shipping address. Another winner will be chosen if the original winner does not come forth within the proper time frame.

Now if only I could get Rhonda to name one Peyton or Pey Pey... I'd be famous for LIFE.

Dear Rhonda,
Thank you for affording me the opportunity to try out and review your great product. Now let's talk business. What's it goinna take to get one of those nifty shirts named after my Peyton? The Pey Pey? Isn't that insanely catchy?

:)


d

* Update: She's considering it. CHA-CHING!

Insane in the Membrane...

Who the fritatta's idea was it to take my clan across the country on a jolly vay-cay?

SOB is all I have to say.

Live from Colorado- I come bearing gifts of laughters.

Highlights and incidental vignettes:

1. Emma refused to walk one more step at Sand Dunes National Park. She fell to the ground in grand dramatic flair, writhed in the sand and began to cry out to the great whispering winds of the park, " My mother doesn' t love me!!"

After refusals to heed my sage and motherly advice ***" GET YOUR ASS UP."*** I continued to walk... testing the "theory" that "they" meaning "spawns" will eventually get up and follow if you go far enough.

Results of theory test:
Not so.


She was subsequently rescued by a concerned 70 year old couple who we later found out .. were reunited after 50 some odd years apart and separate marriages where they found themselves widowed. Sweet huh?

Not so.



" NOT SO" .. when you look like the WORST MOTHER ON THE PLANET who is mortified that you told her the SWEETEST STORY POSSIBLE after she left her drama queen to burn in the dunes of sand and YOU ARE HER RESCUERS.



2. While swimming in one of 45 hotel pools we've frequented... Emma notices the exercise room and says to mommy-la " If you want to not be fat, there's the exercise room."

Lovely.

3.. The girls have enjoyed themselves some "ranch" life. All to the tune of dirty dirty muddy muddy yuckiness that QUITE POSSIBLY MAY NEVER WASH OUT OF THEIR SKIN.



Speaking of:
THings heard roun' the ranch.



"Yeee- haw! Wait! My peeper hurts!"



Whilst riding bareback horses.

Something I shall never ever ever ever do.



"Niiiiice horsey."

says a slightly frightened debby as she pets it's nose. Horsey falls in love with her and begins to nudge her quite forcefully. DEBBY CRIES FOWL and begins to walk away... only to find NIIIICEE HORSEY following her and nudging even more forcefully while CORRALLING HER into a fence.



"RUuuuuuuuN! whispers debby to her small daughters and SCAREDY CAT MOTHER who does NOT like horses.

So THIS is what it feels like to lay down your life for your childrens thinks debby. Molested by a horse... all for the children.

I made it out of there. But I cried in the corner of a tub with the shower running later on... ( if you GET that.. say so.)

" MOM! A BIRD hit my chest and bounced off while we were riding the ATV's with Uncle CUCKOo..."

"sAY what??" says mommy.

"That wasn't a bird Emma. It was a butterfly. " says Uncle CuckOo.

" My ASS"

"My ASS"

"My Ass is on fi-ah."

Sung by Nenny who was introduced to the RANCH'S swamp ass toilet.

ie; toilet that has HOT BURNING WATER FILETERED THROUGH it.

More to come later.

Check back next week for a UV SKINZ giveaway! If you are a reader, but not a commenter... now's the time to comment for me. I need to see if my readership is BACK IN BLACK. :)

Please say hello and I will know it's time to get a GREAT review/GIVEAWAY up and running.