Why OH why.. CAN'T you just live in my little commune?
Like one of those - 300 wive poly communities. Cept.. we won't wife it. Or do other CA-REEEEPY AS SHIT THINGS.
We'll just.. We'll just converse via internet... like we do now. UNTIL... you need to come out and help kick some bully kid ass... or provide counsel regarding whether or not my ass looks LIKE THE FRONT OF A MAC TRUCK in the jeans I purchased? I'll return the favors. Life will just be easier that way.
WE'LL HAVE A BA-LOGAMY relationship?
Why not?? Is that too much to ask? You are my BlerApy. *coined term copyrighted by Princess Of Sarcasm- and for use only with specific permission given by "cessy."
You all are so wuckin fawesome.
Thank you to those of you who:
(COMMENTED on my bustopbully post... yah for 33 comments minus my 3. THIRTY.
I'm well on my way to 1000. )
Took the time to make me laugh * piss my pants
Took the time to offer ideas and sage advice
* hock lugies,
*grab him by the hair
* kick him in the balls
* tell him to STICK THAT IN HIS JUICeBOX AND SUCK IT
( DBD enjoyed all of the above)
To offer your personal heart wrenching stories of the GARBAGE children that roam this world and who have taken advantage of your own little loves. I only WISH .. I really knew MR. T. to come and pity those fools.
And last, thank you... for taking the time to take into your heart the hurt my MnM must be feeling when stupid Jonas Boy... is mean to her sweet self.
It's ridiculously overly- mama- dramatic on my part harmless at this point.
Nothing like my poor blog friend PBD's 7 yr old son experienced.
* you think you wanted to throw some chinese stars... reading about MnM's mini experiece... check out his.
You'll wanna throw skill saw discs. She ( PBD) also wants to get the nasty on with me... so that's two reasons to give her some love this morning.
But with your advice and my continued and incessant coaching in the bathroom this morning... we are primed and prepped for ANY crap talking THAT comes our her way.
We also are just going to walk up the hill 4 houses to the other bus stop.
So that we can be with Nice Kids... and leave the chinese stars at home. And take a seat on the bus before his stop... so that Jonas has to ASK MnM IF he can sit with her and have her reply: not unles you give me 2 dollars and a twinkie for my mom girly boy.
Here's our modos operandus: should the situation arise .
1. YOU MAY NOT SPEAK TO ME THAT WAY: (fierce) thx chi-town voice of reason 4, 1 and 2.
2. YOU HAVE VERY BAD MANNERS - me likes.. I'm using it myself.
3. Repetititve and maddening use of "So." suggested by Glo on facebook..
4. Juicebox hero: * suggested by MeekoFab
I tell you what Sparky . . . Here's the deal . . . You tell my 6-year-old homie to turn around, put one hand on her hip and say, "Why don't you do us ALL a favor and keep your asinine comments to yourself." After he gives her a confused look, have her say, "Stick that in your juice box and suck it!". Yup . . . That's what I would do anyway . . . :)
5. Hock a loo-gie. * Cameron
Hawk a loo-gie at him. That's all I got at this hour. Your story made me laugh but I feel sorry she has to go through this. I can't stand when kids are mean.
Utter perfection.
It's exactly what I wanted her to do. In this manner.
Stupid Jonas: " your stupid MnM.. why don't you just shut- up."
MnM: " # 1 and #2 of repertoire.
Stupid Jonas: You're stupid.
MnM: moving down the list " #3. " # 3, #3 ...
Stupid Jonas: You're STILL stupid.
MnM: HEY JONAS GIRL.. YOU'RE face looks a little dirty. Here LET ME HELP. HAAAAAAAAAAWWWWWWWWWWWKK.. PAFLOOOOY.
6. Kick him or kick him in the balls. *
Deena
Tell her to punch him in his "man-business".....that always makes my girls laugh
Evonne said...I know our kids have to go through this, but it sucks! And if you mess with my kids, you deal with me. And I can have quite a temper!
Anyway, words may just confuse this kid. I say your girl should just kick him and walk away all smug.
Glo
Yeah a good ole' kick in the kaneekies will certainly do the trick. lol
7. Last .. a Visit from Mama bear. In which I"m goinna make him pee his pants.
Everyone else gets honorable mentions. WHich means I loved them all.
The following get GC's from me: cuz I couldn't decide on one I loved most.
1. Chi-town- for responsibility and reason
2. Juice Box Hero. * meekofabulous
and last
3. Princess of Sarcasm : who weighed in on FaceBook with some professional advice and then some not so professional advice.
"He doesn't know how to express his feelings properly yet, and he says mean hateful things."
Which I told MnM and she uses now.
and then this:
You could tell her that he really likes her like a girlfriend, but that he's a boy, so he's too stooopid to know how to tell her, but that she's waaaay to good for him anyway...and always will be. So she should go ahead and kick him in the nuts...hard....to keep him from having any demon spawns in the future...which would probably be in only 6 more years since he's being raised by wolves...or siblings...either way.
If he said Santa wasn't real that wouldn't make it true....oh wait...if he said Oprah was fat....wait again....if he said Jon Gosselin was a punk....(hee hee)...if he said the grass was purple doesn't mean it's true. Kind of like the news media. I guess it's as good a time as any to learn that people say all kinds of bullshit, but she knows the truth and that's all that should matter. And when she's getting her valedictorian medal up on the stage while he's picking his nose, hoping to get the "Most Improved" award...which we all know means stupid as shit...she'll get her sweet revenge. Just tell her to make sure he washes his hands before he gets her McDonald's order ready in the future.
So. you'REe all invited to BA-LOGAMY community.
Email me your mailing addy if you won a GC. I owe you a coffee.
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