what is the meaning of life

I have so many questions about the world.. so many darn random good ass questions.

Seriously though, I could care less who slash how the world was created... I'm here and that's all that needs to be known. Did I come from a dinosaur? ... Emma says I roar like one.. nuff said.

Do I believe in God. You betcha. pssssstttt.... over here... I fer certain am not going to be the one person at the pearlies who chanced it and didn't believe. Nope .. won't catch me. = I also believe in ghosties.. and enter creepy rooms chanting something like this, " I believe in you, I believe in you , I believe in you... you don't have to show me. " Same difference.


I also don't need to know the secret to cellulite erasage...I don't have any. Unless you count when I squeeze "certain areas" ....then it appears. soooooo Weird.

I really don't mind that I don't' fully comprehend the entire United States election process. Those who have tried to explain it to me ... disintegrated into dust as I bore into them with my bored, dead eyes.

But.


I do want to know why....

Michael's fine craft store

opted for miniature shopping carts?

Seriously.
Why the QUARTER sized carts? What's the purpose?

OOOOOOH OOOOOHH ( hand raised) PICK ME PICK ME!!

Same purpose as Miniature HORSES I'm suuuuuuuuuuuuuureee.. ...



NONE.

As I ponder...I'm 89 percent certain it was done, just to piss me off and also serve as a reminder ; TO NEVER HAVE ANOTHER CHILD AGAIN.

I'm just sayin' ( thanks double o) ... if I was intending to shop in a miniature store... and say.. pick up some miniature dollhouse furniture for say... my odd little dollhouse furniture collection that I covet WEIRDLY AT age 34..... then the miniature cart would be entirely appropriate.

However, one infant car seat, a diaper bag the size of South Dakota and two gremlins in tow.. does not make a good case for the justification of el miniature cart.

Just sayin'.


What did I attempt to BUY at Michael's today?
Some delicate packs of scrapbooky shit?

Yeah right. No dice.

A 16 x 20 wooden shadow box.

WHAT did I have to do with said box while shopping? Put it in my cart?
Nope.

Cause it was miniature.

I carried the f.. cker around the store LIKE SOME MULE. all the WHILE PUSHING the cart / makeshift stroller .. with the infant seat and diaper bag clipped on... ALL the while GROWLING at my two other children to stay close or I would have to punish them by teaching them about the election process.



In the midst of the whole debacle: the inevitable " I HAVE TO PEE" announcement occurred.

S.O.B. says me.

JUST ONCE.. I want to be "punked." Just so I don't have to actually go through the ensuing and upcoming ridiculousness that involves the attempts of me running to the bathroom with 2 kids.. one holding her lady area like the dutch boy at the dam the other stopping to admire sparkly pretty shiny things and the last installment.. in the 100 lb infant seat beginning to wake up and threaten all remaining calmness left in the world.. with a FEED ME SEYMOUR SCREAM. All while pushing the miniature cart and holding the 16 x 20 BOX.

The damn horses would have better served my predicament at that point. I could've put my miniature kids on the miniature horse, smacked it's ass and said " TO THE BATHROOM YOU GO!"

Then I could've kept shopping for massive items that won't FIT INTO A MINIATURE CART.


My life is a virtual never ending circus.
And it sure is funny.


What was the 16 x 20 shadow huge box for you ask?

Why ... my miniature furniture collection.. of course.


So next you frequent Michael's for some last minute try to be crafty attempt: think of me when you see the miniature carts corralled and waiting... waiting to laugh at you when you try to put that vase and giant fake sunflower bushel into it's belly. NOPE. Ain't happenin sista. And it's proabably a 'GOOD' thing.



Happy Fathers Day to my lone male.. reader. Lone ranger.

d