*** If you do not watch Little People Big World: stop right here. Ring my doorbell another time. ( speaking of... Some little fuckers rang my doorbell at midnight last night. 2 dogs, 3 kids, 2 tired parents.. and they rang my doorbell and RAN. If it was you.. I will find you and show you how to ring a F%^$ing doorbell. Promise. You're messing with one tired momma.)
If you asked me where I'd like to fly myselfs on vacation this year : I'd tell you one single stinking place.
Roloff Farm
Some of you jest. You laugh cuz you know what I'm talking about.
The other lot of you find yourself oddly intrigued .
Why the hoo hoo does she want to go there and better yet I wonder if she'll tell us her story morning glory.
Well certainly I will.
I've debated this bloggy post my little internetties because it's borderline politically incorrect. It's borderline lots of things: stalking, obsession, rudeness and plain psychosis... but most of all .. just plain P.I.
As you well know however ...seeing that I was a vietnamese rice patty worker complete with white painted asian face and slanted black eyes during the infamous Halloween of 83.. you will know that I often fall into the P.I. category...unknowingly.
So I love the show Little People Big World on TLC. I've been sitting in the stands for this show since it's inception. Munching on my popcorn and peanuts while I watch the trials and tribluations of the Roloff Family. Of which include 3 little people who face "challenges and obstacles" everyday. I am currently ... simply.. fascinated.
I will however tell you that ; I was a bit flipped out at the initial notion of watching a show about little people. I can't say I was comfortable around the littles. There.. that's my P.I. My resume holds no little people experience nor explanation of why I adore this show. Had I been asked to attend .a little people convention at some fabulously cool location with the Roloff's... I'd have been a little nervous. No pun.
BUT .. flash forward 3 years and THIS SHOW ... I love it. I have grown familiar with the ins and outs of the Roloff family. I love their 'can do' ATTITUDEs and I am just so intrigued with everything they do and say. The purpose of the show was to show that little people live lives just like me ( doubt it) just in a different way. I"m also preeeettty sure the purpo$e WA$ two fold a$ well. Judging by the look$ of their newly remodeled hou$e, MERCEDE$ $itting in the garage ( of which I spied on my own while noting tiny details unlike those of you who watch simply the big picture) and numerous trips... I'd say they closely follow that psycho Kate and her ability to smartly exploit her family for moolahs. Good for them.
So their purpose$ worked because I've fallin in love with the Roloffs and they obvioulsy have beau coups of money now. I'd feel very comfortable hob nobbin at an LPA convention at this point. Case in point: while stuck in the hospital after my delivery I decided to take a walksy , opened my door to the hall and LOW AND BEHOLD ..no joke. An entire little people family of 5 walked by.
I do not lie.
I said hello! And then asked if I could come with them.
Just kidding. I totally stared and then tried totally not too once I realized I was staring. Not because they were little people.. but because THEY WERE RIGHT OUTSIDE MY DOOR AS I OPENED IT! What kind of crazy sign is that? A sign that I NEED TO VISIT THE ROLOFFS. Straight from God. :)
So Roloff family: I appeal to you. Let me visit.
I'm certain that they can afford to fly me out for a visit. Surely. First class at that. .
I will watch my mailbox closely.
How fun would that be??
Prior to my arrival there are a few things I need to say to kinda clear the air...
1. I apologize for my P.I. regarding the little people of this world. Please take me to a convention with you. I can handle it now.
2. Matt, your stupid. Also.. you're a bossy cow. Kinda like me I guess. DID I SAY THAT OUTLOUD???
I'd have killed you in year 1 of our marriage. Run you over LIGHTLy with your mule. ( I now know what a MULE is thanks to you. It is NOT some form of donkey/ ass... but um.. you are sometimes. But I loves ya)
Your wife is a saint for putting up with your notions. However, your notions brought in some moolah... so slash that . I'd have made it a few years I guess. Can you adopt me?
2. Amy: You are my favorite. At first I thought you had no control of your own kids when I spied them throwing their trash on your organized..a hem... kitchen floor. But then I saw how much you loved and cared for your kids and that you kicked around that mommy guilt JUST LIKE ME... so I let you slide on your lack of discipline. Emma just threw her yogurt container on the kitchen floor .. and I let her.. out of love. Thank you Amy.
We all fail in some parental area.. yours just happens to be .. let your kids take advantage of you... and also drive your mini van through MASSIVE MUD PUDDLES with the windows open while you weren't looking. ( Zach.. we'll talk in a minute) But you're a good mom and wife .. I was touched when you said "mom" was the three letter word you loved best.
It taught me a lot.
I also secretly love when you lay into your husband. You may be smaller than me.. but we are soul sistahs. RIP HiM A NEW ONE lady.. I'll be cheering from my stands!
3. Zach. Lose the civil war hat. Or at least wash it. Better yet. Let me wash it for you. Please. Also. When you road through that mud puddle with your windows open in the mini van the first pass... I thought I was going to have a heart attack for your poor unaware mother. When you joy road through it at 67 miles an hour for the 5th and 7th and 19th time... I tried to crawl in my TV to murder you with a blunt object. Don't you know there are poor starving people in the world WITHOUT minivans??? Last: I failed my permit test 3 times. High five on that.
4. Jacob: you're a little punk. I am worried that your accident prone ability will get your poor parents in trouble with Children Youth Services. Knock that shit off. And stay the hell away from 65 thousand pound trebuchets ( yet another learned item ) . And the tick. You're lucky it didn't blow up like it did on my dogs. First hand Jacob... that's totally no fun to get out. My dogs vouche.
5. Jeremy. Run away from that girl in episode 76. She's weird and she talked "marriage." That's way uncool. Open the door and push her out of your VW bug next time you head out. Also. A welder? For real? You're not going to have to worry about finding some non collegiate acquired occupation after this show buddy.. Thanks Daddy Matt for that shit. And um... he's adopting me. You have to share now.
6. Molly. I was so proud of you whilst watching your 8th grade graduation. You're speech was fantastic. Valedictorian quality fo sho. I even took pictures of my TV. :) Dont' become some snarky little teen. You're the only girl and your mom loves you.
So when can I visit? I promise I won't bring my kids and I'm certain my sister would come with me. Perhaps some netty friends as well? We can gather pumpkins and launch the trebuchet! Then ride the mule over to the old town. Maybe even help to run the register during punkin season. I don't do tractors though matt.
So anyways. ROloffs.. more power to you. You're show is fabulous. I hope you're rolling in the dough and I'm happy to see your marriage lasting unlike some other TlC characters of note. TLC... good show with great purpose.
ANd even better yet... THE LITTLE COUPLE began .. Bill and Jen. I love them already.
If you asked me where I'd like to fly myselfs on vacation this year : I'd tell you one single stinking place.
Roloff Farm
Some of you jest. You laugh cuz you know what I'm talking about.
The other lot of you find yourself oddly intrigued .
Why the hoo hoo does she want to go there and better yet I wonder if she'll tell us her story morning glory.
Well certainly I will.
I've debated this bloggy post my little internetties because it's borderline politically incorrect. It's borderline lots of things: stalking, obsession, rudeness and plain psychosis... but most of all .. just plain P.I.
As you well know however ...seeing that I was a vietnamese rice patty worker complete with white painted asian face and slanted black eyes during the infamous Halloween of 83.. you will know that I often fall into the P.I. category...unknowingly.
So I love the show Little People Big World on TLC. I've been sitting in the stands for this show since it's inception. Munching on my popcorn and peanuts while I watch the trials and tribluations of the Roloff Family. Of which include 3 little people who face "challenges and obstacles" everyday. I am currently ... simply.. fascinated.
I will however tell you that ; I was a bit flipped out at the initial notion of watching a show about little people. I can't say I was comfortable around the littles. There.. that's my P.I. My resume holds no little people experience nor explanation of why I adore this show. Had I been asked to attend .a little people convention at some fabulously cool location with the Roloff's... I'd have been a little nervous. No pun.
BUT .. flash forward 3 years and THIS SHOW ... I love it. I have grown familiar with the ins and outs of the Roloff family. I love their 'can do' ATTITUDEs and I am just so intrigued with everything they do and say. The purpose of the show was to show that little people live lives just like me ( doubt it) just in a different way. I"m also preeeettty sure the purpo$e WA$ two fold a$ well. Judging by the look$ of their newly remodeled hou$e, MERCEDE$ $itting in the garage ( of which I spied on my own while noting tiny details unlike those of you who watch simply the big picture) and numerous trips... I'd say they closely follow that psycho Kate and her ability to smartly exploit her family for moolahs. Good for them.
So their purpose$ worked because I've fallin in love with the Roloffs and they obvioulsy have beau coups of money now. I'd feel very comfortable hob nobbin at an LPA convention at this point. Case in point: while stuck in the hospital after my delivery I decided to take a walksy , opened my door to the hall and LOW AND BEHOLD ..no joke. An entire little people family of 5 walked by.
I do not lie.
I said hello! And then asked if I could come with them.
Just kidding. I totally stared and then tried totally not too once I realized I was staring. Not because they were little people.. but because THEY WERE RIGHT OUTSIDE MY DOOR AS I OPENED IT! What kind of crazy sign is that? A sign that I NEED TO VISIT THE ROLOFFS. Straight from God. :)
So Roloff family: I appeal to you. Let me visit.
I'm certain that they can afford to fly me out for a visit. Surely. First class at that. .
I will watch my mailbox closely.
How fun would that be??
Prior to my arrival there are a few things I need to say to kinda clear the air...
1. I apologize for my P.I. regarding the little people of this world. Please take me to a convention with you. I can handle it now.
2. Matt, your stupid. Also.. you're a bossy cow. Kinda like me I guess. DID I SAY THAT OUTLOUD???
I'd have killed you in year 1 of our marriage. Run you over LIGHTLy with your mule. ( I now know what a MULE is thanks to you. It is NOT some form of donkey/ ass... but um.. you are sometimes. But I loves ya)
Your wife is a saint for putting up with your notions. However, your notions brought in some moolah... so slash that . I'd have made it a few years I guess. Can you adopt me?
2. Amy: You are my favorite. At first I thought you had no control of your own kids when I spied them throwing their trash on your organized..a hem... kitchen floor. But then I saw how much you loved and cared for your kids and that you kicked around that mommy guilt JUST LIKE ME... so I let you slide on your lack of discipline. Emma just threw her yogurt container on the kitchen floor .. and I let her.. out of love. Thank you Amy.
We all fail in some parental area.. yours just happens to be .. let your kids take advantage of you... and also drive your mini van through MASSIVE MUD PUDDLES with the windows open while you weren't looking. ( Zach.. we'll talk in a minute) But you're a good mom and wife .. I was touched when you said "mom" was the three letter word you loved best.
It taught me a lot.
I also secretly love when you lay into your husband. You may be smaller than me.. but we are soul sistahs. RIP HiM A NEW ONE lady.. I'll be cheering from my stands!
3. Zach. Lose the civil war hat. Or at least wash it. Better yet. Let me wash it for you. Please. Also. When you road through that mud puddle with your windows open in the mini van the first pass... I thought I was going to have a heart attack for your poor unaware mother. When you joy road through it at 67 miles an hour for the 5th and 7th and 19th time... I tried to crawl in my TV to murder you with a blunt object. Don't you know there are poor starving people in the world WITHOUT minivans??? Last: I failed my permit test 3 times. High five on that.
4. Jacob: you're a little punk. I am worried that your accident prone ability will get your poor parents in trouble with Children Youth Services. Knock that shit off. And stay the hell away from 65 thousand pound trebuchets ( yet another learned item ) . And the tick. You're lucky it didn't blow up like it did on my dogs. First hand Jacob... that's totally no fun to get out. My dogs vouche.
5. Jeremy. Run away from that girl in episode 76. She's weird and she talked "marriage." That's way uncool. Open the door and push her out of your VW bug next time you head out. Also. A welder? For real? You're not going to have to worry about finding some non collegiate acquired occupation after this show buddy.. Thanks Daddy Matt for that shit. And um... he's adopting me. You have to share now.
6. Molly. I was so proud of you whilst watching your 8th grade graduation. You're speech was fantastic. Valedictorian quality fo sho. I even took pictures of my TV. :) Dont' become some snarky little teen. You're the only girl and your mom loves you.
So when can I visit? I promise I won't bring my kids and I'm certain my sister would come with me. Perhaps some netty friends as well? We can gather pumpkins and launch the trebuchet! Then ride the mule over to the old town. Maybe even help to run the register during punkin season. I don't do tractors though matt.
So anyways. ROloffs.. more power to you. You're show is fabulous. I hope you're rolling in the dough and I'm happy to see your marriage lasting unlike some other TlC characters of note. TLC... good show with great purpose.
ANd even better yet... THE LITTLE COUPLE began .. Bill and Jen. I love them already.
9 comments:
I am ROFLMAO...I knew you liked that show, but not THAT much lol. We love watching it here as well. They are fascinating, but your post about them left me giggling with tears in my eyes. I actually shoved Syd away from me and told her to wait for her drink as my reading your blog was more important LMAO :) Great one.
Oh that's a good sign.. shoving the kid and denying beverage...
been there done that.. :)
lol!
d
I love little people. I have since my 4th grade substitute teacher was one. I am fascinated by them. I also get a secret thrill if I see them at the store or out. Does that make me politically incorrect, too? But, really, my interest is more admiration...that makes it better, I think?
D,
WE LOVE THAT SHOW OVER HERE AND YES WE NOTICED THE CAR!!!! They are fascinating people and definitely inspirational. And we are loving the new one too...Jen and Bill. Your post was hysterical. Thanks for the read. I was laughing hard too. Much needed!
Yep, shoved her aside and said Mommy needs to read this blog, it is SO funny and you can wait LMAO... she just looked at me like I was crazy...but I needed that laugh. I told shane he has to read it when he gets home. TOO funny :)
I just can't do it - get into this show. I must be far more PI than you my friend, little people freak me out.
If they don't get back to you, come visit me--a little person owns/runs our local natural food store in good old Alfred, NY.
Did you know that your Cousin Alicia KNOWS the woman from the little couple? True story. Swear to God.
I like the show too.
My sister in law is a little person. She doesn't freak me out.
I bet Chi Town Momma freaks little people out though with her intolerance. Sorry to hear that people, little or otherwise, freak her out. Must be awesome to be so perfect like her.
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